Get Rid of the Nervousness: Speaking With Confidence and Calmness

When you stand up to speak, how calm, comfortable, and collected do you feel?

Does your state of mind allow you to focus on your audience?

Do you feel nervous, unsure, or self-conscious?

Or are you just so excited you cannot wait to get started and share your wisdom with your audience?

There are so many different mindsets and feelings you may bring with you to your speaking engagements. However, experience has taught me that when people feel nervous or uncomfortable, it’s because of one main thing; they are self-conscious. Self-consciousness, by definition, is the feeling of being overly aware of one’s self and one’s actions. This is a very common feeling to have, especially when speaking in front of a group. 

Before we get into some solutions, let me give you a metaphor in the form of this hypothetical story:

Imagine you’re a trained paramedic, and you’re all dressed up to attend an evening event where you will be the guest speaker. The event has nothing to do with your medical skills, but on the way to the event, on a lonely stretch of road, you see a car that has been in an accident and somebody on the ground. The closer you get, you become even more aware that they are bleeding profusely from their leg. 

What would you do?

You have a couple of choices. You could call 911 and just keep driving, hoping somebody comes to help that person and that they do not bleed to death before help arrives. Or you could stop your car, get out and offer the assistance you are trained to give. 

You decide to help. 

Immediately, you know you must stop the bleeding. You get down on the ground and realize you are covered head to toe in blood. While delivering care, is there a moment when you are thinking about how your clothes, shoes, and hands are covered in blood? Are you focused on the speaking engagement you are heading to after this? Or, because you are trained to deliver life-saving care, is that all you are focused on?

It is likely your goal and single focus was to help that person by stopping the bleeding. And once you accomplish that, there may be a moment where you realize that because you are covered in blood, you may need to reassess when and how you will arrive at your speaking engagement. However, at no point during this life-saving experience were you SELF-CONSCIOUS. You were not focused on yourself. Instead, you were focused on the person who needed your help. 

This is the mindset that a great speaker has. 

All of their focus, energy, and abilities are directed at their audience. Knowing how helpful your message will be in meeting your audience’s needs will help you overcome your fears and reinforce your successes. If you want to be cool, calm, and collected in front of your audience, stop being self-conscious. Become audience focused and get out of your own way. 

Early in my speaking career, I learned this the hard way. Back in 1973, I was thinking about myself. I perseverated on what I looked like and how my audience would perceive me. Now, decades later, while I still focus on how I look, those thoughts are fleeting. Once I comb what little hair I have left and ensure my clothes match, I forget all about it. Instead, I focus all of my attention and energy on how my message will help my audience. This is not about you; it’s about them—this must be your mindset. 

If you combine this mindset with other commonly used speaking techniques to eliminate nervousness, you will be in a state of natural flow full of comfort, calm, and an authentic connection to your audience.

Combine your new mindset with these four strategies to eliminate any nerves that bubble up on the day of your presentation. 

1. Practice: The more you practice speaking in front of an audience, the more comfortable you will become. Having a good understanding of the material you are presenting is also important, so make sure to practice outlining your presentation and become familiar with your content.

2. Prepare: Preparing yourself mentally and emotionally is essential to overcoming fear. Take some time to get yourself into a relaxed state of mind, clear from distractions. You can do this through deep breathing, visualization techniques, or mindfulness exercises.

3. Engage: Engaging with your audience is vital for an effective presentation. Make eye contact, smile, and use open body language. Ask questions, and invite audience members to share their thoughts. This will help you feel even more connected to the audience and even more confident in your presentation.

4. Rehearse: Rehearsing your presentation can help you feel even more confident and comfortable. Do a few practice runs in front of a mirror or a friend. This can help you identify any areas that need to be improved and give you a chance to practice your delivery.

5. Stay Positive: Remember staying positive is the key to positive results. You become what you think about. Think about the good that your messaging is going to bring your audience. Think about the benefits they are going to receive. Decide in advance that the end result will be exactly what you expected it to be. The audience will be receptive, open to your ideas, and enthusiastic about the concepts you are sharing.

Imagine you are just about to speak in front of the largest audience you have ever been in front of, and you are so calm, so confident, and so excited to be able to share the ideas that you have prepared and deliver them in an organized way that your audience can follow. The result is going to be exactly what you wanted because you got yourself out of the way, eliminated self-consciousness, and put the entire focus on your audience and not yourself.

For more information on how you can become an even better speaker, reach out today.